
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
I am new to here, and I don't know how this works. I don't speak much, its not that I dont have anything to say, just that I dont have anyone to listen. I am surrounded my selfish superficial people, and its all I can do to get up in the morning.
I have survived adversity, the least of which being a brain tumour two years ago, and yet I still can't seem to see light.
I am constantly sedated, popping valium like pez, and although it makes me feel empty, its better than feeling so dark.
I can't find joy in anything. If someone pays me a compliment, I feel like screaming. I'm treated like shit at work because I am better at my job than my boss, and her bosses are realising it. So she treats me like less than a dog, and unless I start to suck up I will continue to be pissed on.
I know that I can be indignant and rude, and I certainly know I have trouble with authority figures, but I have honestly been nothing but behaved at work, and yet I am still treated like a lap dog. I'm given demeaning tasks and I am completely excluded from any team activity. They held a going away party on friday for one of the girls on my team, and even though I had asked all week if she was leaving, they didn't tell me. I felt like a fool, and I know it hurt the girl's feelings that I hadn't done anything to say goodbye.
I had to take a day off last week to attend my grandmother's funeral. I didn't get to see her before she died because they wouldn't allow me a day off work. And the day before and the following day of the funeral, they treated me as though I had spent the day at the beach. The belittled me and blamed me for problems at work because "oh, you had to have the day off".
It seems cruel, unfair and neverending, and I don't know how much i can honestly take anymore.
If you read this, I thank you for taking the time.
I have survived adversity, the least of which being a brain tumour two years ago, and yet I still can't seem to see light.
I am constantly sedated, popping valium like pez, and although it makes me feel empty, its better than feeling so dark.
I can't find joy in anything. If someone pays me a compliment, I feel like screaming. I'm treated like shit at work because I am better at my job than my boss, and her bosses are realising it. So she treats me like less than a dog, and unless I start to suck up I will continue to be pissed on.
I know that I can be indignant and rude, and I certainly know I have trouble with authority figures, but I have honestly been nothing but behaved at work, and yet I am still treated like a lap dog. I'm given demeaning tasks and I am completely excluded from any team activity. They held a going away party on friday for one of the girls on my team, and even though I had asked all week if she was leaving, they didn't tell me. I felt like a fool, and I know it hurt the girl's feelings that I hadn't done anything to say goodbye.
I had to take a day off last week to attend my grandmother's funeral. I didn't get to see her before she died because they wouldn't allow me a day off work. And the day before and the following day of the funeral, they treated me as though I had spent the day at the beach. The belittled me and blamed me for problems at work because "oh, you had to have the day off".
It seems cruel, unfair and neverending, and I don't know how much i can honestly take anymore.
If you read this, I thank you for taking the time.
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Far as jobs are concerned they're nearly all like that, crappy work and petty staff, been there myself in my last job, but if ya just need someone to listen drop me a line :)
You're going to have to stop that Valium, and this means you are going to have to take the time to feel and deal with your true feelings. This may even mean you're going to have to lose the sh*t job, but you know what, you're going to get sick if you don't. In addition, it's a process doing this, but a healing process. It takes time after investing before it pays off, bur every day you'll feel better if you invest in healing instead of blocking and denying.
I have moved away from meds unless absolutely necessary. Despite their ability to help, they can also exacerbate the problems of life.
There are enough people here to get support to cope with some of the problems of day to day living. The worst thing that you could do now is to add alcohol to the mix.
I check the board daily since joining and I'm glad to get to know you.
I take valerian tablets instead of vallium and they do a similarly strong job but without the side effects and dependency forming. I took them a lot for a while, then found my sleep patterns had got back to something like normal, and I couldn't be bothered to take them - which is good.
Your job sounds like the sort of nonsence that goes on a lot in jobs. I had a stupid stupid stupid fellow put over the top of me to supposedly manage the part of the business that I was managing perfectly ok. Hetotally f**ked up and I had double work to keep his ar** on its thick black director's chair.
So he tried molesting some ladies and we saw that back of him. And I carried on as b4 and the business runs smoothly.
So what was all that about - just stupidity.
Good luck, and yeah - you're one of the gang.x
Do you know what you had been hoping for? If it was a particular position, you may have other options. You may also have the option of fighting the decision.
Considering you were told that you would have to "prove" yourself, I would ask for a meeting and ask what specifically I wasn't doing that lead to the decision.
You're a talented girl by the sounds of it who is selling herself short if they won't promote you at work. As for your grandma I feel for you I really do. This sounds like a really bad case of when your everyday bad stuff collides with the bigger stuff. You need to mourn but you also need to sort the little things out, i get it. Maybe one thing at a time is the way to go and might keep your mind off the bigger stuff?
You're always welcome here x