I can't help but be sad when something, even a little thing, gets to me. Perfect example, I watched Scrubs the other day and after the sad episode I just hated the world. I couldn't think of anything but bad thoughts. I get constantly reminded that I have no friends, no one respects me, I kill myself physically and mentally for most of my short life with nothing to show for it, I'm overweight to the point that the thought of me being attractive to other has become a joke to people, everything I do is not good enough for my parents because they are so proud of my older brother that they don't see me, I can't look in a mirror without wanting to throw something at it, oh and best of all I have no idea what to do to change anything because I am broke. Always have been, always will be. I'm a nothing, not even a blip on the radar of life. I thought that living the way I have was right. I didn't drink or do drugs, I didn't sleep around, I worked hard in school and have been working as long as I can remember. What more does the world want from me? Why are people my age getting drunk and stoned and lacking any dedication to anything other then their own selfish needs getting farther then I am? Why are they popular and liked and I am look at as a joke because I love what I do? I get laughed at becasue I don't have the best clothes. People snicker when I show confidence in myself. My only friend and my girlfriend think I am only "kind of" like a man. What do I have to do? I hate who I am, and I hate how I live my life. What can I do?
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