You find it when you stop looking.
Take time to relax properly, get good rest and then awaken yourself to your senses again, smell things like fresh bread baking, clean sheets and then work on your other senses, give yourself long hot baths and get engrossed in a really good book.

Remind yourself of the little things in life which feel nice and then work on it each day.

hmm finding your happy self might not be as easy as just finding yourself that doesn't cry. Concentrate on that for now and happy will come later...

thank you xx i will try

R U ready for an adventure? It's the same one I took after being depressed for 3 years. I knew I would find happiness, it just took a few more years to. In the meantime, I studied what depression is and what can be done by ones own efforts to better the hormonal situation.
Sun or Ott lights work marvelously.
Seratonin producing foods.
Just the right amount of rest (not too much) music that makes your heart dance and exersize.
I purged myself of unhealthy relationshipsand joined a support group (no more isolating).
I did all this and more in incremental baby steps...All in all it was a 10 year journey.
I have not had but a few days of depressions since then because of the lifestyle changes...
Much blessing to you...

great response IRoam.

I know how you are feeling, ifind it so hard to smile anymore. "hugs"

I started taking St. John's Wort for my depression about 2 months ago. I can not believe the positive changes to my mood it has made. SJW is an herbal supplement and complete life saver. I can honestly say I don't know where I would be right now with out it. Check out this website 'sjwinfo.org' that I stumbled upon looking for help with my depression. It has changed my life. Good luck.