Every night I tell myself I'm going to get out of bed, get things done, get some exercise and play with my son. Instead I wake up, wish I could sleep longer, find every excuse to let my daily tasks linger to the end of the day. I know my son is suffering with this routine and soon my daughter.My weight is making my depression worse when it should be motivating me to get my ass up. I look at myself in the mirror and don't recognize myself anymore. My son asked me to play frisbee outside, and before I responded he said "I know you'll say no".He was right, I was going to find an excuse.I know my husband looks at me and wonders what is happening, he would never question or say anything, but I feel it. I want to have energy, I want to feel good. What I have become makes me sick, it makes me even sicker to think my kids are adjusting to my behavior. I can't take all this on top of everything else.
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