I have a lot of feeling inside of me, mostly pain and I am going to try to explain it because I know it will not be good for me to keep it inside. Normally, I would be cutting now because I do not know how to handle it when I feel like this and I stopped myself and thought to post on here. I am honestly losing hope in myself. I feel like I try but do not go anywhere. It is hard to describe but how I feel is that I have so much pain built up inside me and I get this very strong urge to hurt myself to make it stop. At times I like that I live alone here but at other times I hate it because I am left with my mind and how I feel. A combination of remembering past events that were horrible and the stress of things going on now have just about broken me down. I am tired of this and want to just feel somewhat normal. I can barely remember the last time I have felt that way.
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