Lately I have been feeling so alone. And with the holidays it is even worst. Nornaly this is not a problem for me, because my family does not really do holidays. But,lately I've been longing for a normal/tradidional holiday with family and friends. But now that i can choose to celebrate all I want, however I want... I have no one to celebrate with. and this leaves me feeling empty. Worst thing is my "best" friend has moved away and will not answer my calls are respond to my email. I never really did believe in best friends anyway.
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I moved back in with my family after about twenty years on my own. I'm struggling to find my place back in this environment but I feel like my family hates me and I'll never be good enough. I really want to use behaviors and just sorta disappear from my life right now. I feel like there is no one to talk to that understands this.
yesday I was walking the same block I've walked for a year. I walked pass the German Shepards house and he came out the door of the fence and went straight for my yorkies neck. I went into Mama bear mode jumped on the back of the German Shepard all 100 pounds of me and wrestled with a German Shepard that weighs more than me. When I jumped on him like a horses back. I had dish gloves on and...