
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
I feel worse than I probably have in over a year. I just don't know who I am anymore. I look in the mirror and I see someone else. A shell, a visage, the great actor, the man in the mirror. Nobody even knows me anymore, as I hide how I really feel. I don't want to do anything anymore, I'm tired all the time (I sleep around 11-12 hours per day recently), and above all, I'm in love with someone who will never, ever have feelings for me, mostly because of my mental problems. I haven't been on a date in two years now, because I can never seem to come across as attractive to women, despite my intellect, relative purity, and musical talents. I feel as if I'm going through hell every day. I don't even want to wake up most days anymore. Nothing, not even music brings me relief anymore. The medicines only guise the sickness, and sometimes I feel like someone's missed the diagnosis here. If I were really depressed, SSRI meds should work, right? I've grown to hate myself as of late, because I can't even stir up the strength to talk to anyone about this. I already see how much people hate me in the first place, and if they knew the extent of my madness, they'd hate me even more. I only have a few good friends, and I freak out when I'm alone. I just don't know what's happening to me. Anyone else felt like this before? What's wrong with me, what am I missing? Will I always be like this? I know that's a ton of questions, but I'm on my last limb and I really don't want to be judged so I'd rather get some anonymous advice. I've been judged and hated and avoided enough.
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I was at the same place you were...going to bed at 4 am then sleeping all day, never felt like doing anything, etc. You have to push yourself sometimes, remind yourself that you're life is passing by. It's hard, but sometimes forcing yourself to go out, and be near friends can be so beneficial. You might have to pretend you're having fun for a while, but that can be contagious! It might just catch on.
If you ever need to talk, I'm here!
Love,
Mahadra