Today I went to see a specialist to finally tell me why I have no sensation during sex, and yet again another doctor who does not know what is wrong with me. Before the appointment I had tears in my eyes because of how nervous I was- I do not cry around strangers. I have only cried around my mom and boyfriend. People were watching me the whole time as I tried to blink back tears. After my appointment I quickly walked out and bawled in my car for a half hour until I could try and drive home. I had to stop twice on the road because I couldn't see I was crying so bad- and that does not happen to me, I am usually very strong. My depression started when I was fourteen and slowly has gone away since I met my boyfriend two years ago. He really turned around how I see myself and the world, he's amazing. Three hours later and I have finally calmed myself down. I don't know if anyone will read this but just writing it down takes a little weight off my shoulders. Have a great night.
went to work begrudgingly as I did not want to get out of bed....let the snooze go twice...never really do that unless something is off.....I made good money at work today...pretty busy....they opened up inside dining today too....so they had their hands full plus delivery was hopping too.....came home cooked three pork steaks before they went bad....had been thawed a few days....but my tummy...
Today. Working. Eating lunch and just booked hotel for small family getaway in August. Be nice to have something to look forward to after being somewhat cooped up since Covid started.