Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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deleted_user 04/13/2007

I don't know why but I can feel myself slipping into depression. I can feel the tears, and the knot in my throat. I am holding back. I have been in bed for over a year, and other than a few small ailments I really have no excuse for it. I should be cleaning the house, folding the clothes or doing something. My husband leaves in the am, and I am in the living room sleeping, when he comes home I am in the living room watching tv. I can't seem to make myself get out of bed. I had a hysterectomy last year in January, and I just haven't been the same. I believe I gave myself the back injury by not getting up and moving around, so now I have to deal with this. My son took my cc out of my wallet and ran up my gas card, and my atm card. I am on $148 unemployment and he does this to me. He is sleeping it is noon. He goes out everynight(I think he is hustling pool for $$), and I want to tell him he needs to get out. I can't keep hiding my purse(because I have to remember where I put it) I don't want to live like this but he just doesn't understand. He told me he was thinking about suicide months ago, and ever since then I have been walking on egg shells around him. He was caught in his junior yr of high school with a rifle in his mouth. So I take him very serious. I know that when he awakes I am going to have to confront him, and I hate confrontation. He is 22, no job, not going to school, and I believe he is bipolar but he refuses to get checked out. I was very close to Baker Acting him when this happened last time but I couldn't do it. I am just laying here like a BLOB. I am watching I Love Lucy. I wish I could make myself do something productive today, but I don't see it happening.
Tuesday I have to get an epidural shot even though I have already gone through it and know what to expect I am starting to get nervous. I don't like the person I have become. I wonder if after my Mom passed I just said "What does it matter?" to everything. Just sweeping the floor or doing some laundry would be great, if I could just get up and do it. If anyone has any ideas I would definately welcome them, until then.
Thanks from the BlOB on the couch.

deleted_user 04/13/2007

One thing at a time. Your life did not get to be unbearable overnight and it won't get better overnight either. One step at a time. For some, getting out of bed is an accomplishment. Give yourself credit for what you have done rather than kicking yourself for what is not done. The other thing I would suggest is to seek professional assistance. At least call a hot line. They are good, accepting people and there to talk to you. They have resources at their fingertips that may assist you in your situation. Give it a try.

deleted_user 04/13/2007

First of all,
(((((((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))))))))))

Now, start crying if you need to. Let go of what you are holding in, because you are going t o explode. My Dad has really bad health issues and stayed in bed for 4 years, so you are okay. I agree with Meow. You should be seeing someone yourself. I know you are major worried about your son, but you have to help yourself first. If you don't do that, you will never be able to help him.
So, how do you get up? You just do. Start out little, and grow from there. Try to write down the little things that you do do, because even they are accomplishments.
You have already started by coming on this site. Good Girl!!

Now its time. Get off the couch and turn off the tv. When I wasn't working, tv was the devil. And cause I layed around all day, it was hard not to sleep half of it and the other half feel tired and sad.

Next step, sit at the computer, and read blogs from DS or write on the boards or sends a million hugs. Or go the internet, and start researching about your issues, where to get help. Go on About.com. That site is awesome for pretty much anything. Put on some music.

Next, cook dinner for when your husband gets home, if you can. Just make a box of mac and cheese if you have to. But stay up, use all your will to stay up and greet him when he gets home.

Sweetie, you can do this!!!!! Close your eyes and say I CAN DO THIS! Don't think about tommorrow, or tonight, just think about right now. Think moment to moment. Let your son sleep, when he gets up, be brave. Ask him if he want to help you cook dinner. Don't talk about bad things with him. Surprise him with something new to say.

Toady YOU ARE A NEW YOU!!!!!!!!!!

deleted_user 04/13/2007

Sadly, I can relate to all you have written. Because I have a 19 year old alcoholic son, who was sleeping until 2 or 3 pm, then getting up and being NASTY to everyone here. He would yell at my little girls who are 6, 9 and 13! For being loud, or being little girls running or playing at 2 in the afternoon. We coulnt talk at all. We were fighting and hating each other. And he was always my tightest bonded love bug growing up. So the depression your son is causing you, could be most of what makes you not want to move!!!! Especially when u have to confront him. I remember those days!! Fortunately he got real tired of me and moved into dads. But that took forever and a LOT of pain b4 he left. And I was hiding in my room, away from where ever he might pop up. So I can see why u dont do anything. Its like looking fwd to a beating or something, so may as well cancel life. I would suggest you get on ante depressants if you arent already. And try 1 little thing a day. A shower today. Dishes tomorrow. Vacuum the next day. If u try 1 thing, then you can possibly do 2, you will be happier! Thats how I do it. And often, I cant even shower. I sit on my comp, or nap. So do the best you can. If u want to talk, I am always around!!! Nichole

deleted_user 04/13/2007

Thank you so very much for your replies. I did move to the bedroom, closer to the shower, which I am going to start there. I am not going to confront my son today, I have decided. They turned off his cellphone because of nonpymt, I think his weekend will be a lil different w/out his phone. Anyway, thank you very very much. I am going to take a shower, and change the sheets. And your right there are somethings I do, but I don't count them because I don't see them as accomplishments. Funny, when hubby comes home and I have gotten the mail, he is like "YOU GOT THE MAIL?", yes I did, I went outside and got the mail, :)

deleted_user 04/13/2007

sHOWERS A GREAT PLACE TO START..YOU GO GIRL

deleted_user 04/13/2007

Good for you girl. I am going o check on you at the end of the day. Remember evry little thing counts. I count washing me face at night as an accomplishment, because it is not a part of my routine.

deleted_user 04/13/2007

funny I feel like I have someone to answer to so I will probably try to get a few things on the list. My son just got up, he is in the living room. I heard him try my door, but he didn't knock so. I am going to take a shower before I confront him.

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