I'm not even sure why I'm here other than the fact I have nothing else to do. I think I've been depressed all my life, for as long as I can remember...I don't know any other way. I've been alone since I came out of the womb. My parents should never have had children...it was clear they didn't want them. I was left to my own devices and have been alone ever since. So now here I sit, 35 years old, never had a boyfriend, never had a man look once at me much less twice, too tall, too fat, too ugly, with no family, friends, no hobbies, no ambitions, no purpose, nothing to define me as a person whatsoever. I'm no one. I'm blank. All I want, all I ever wanted, was just to be held by someone who actually cared about me. But I know I'll die as alone as I came into the world. So what's the point? I don't know anymore. I wish I don't wake up in the morning. I'm tired. I have nothing left to hope for. I don't expect I'll commit suicide though I think about it sometimes. But I don't want to live anymore like this either...it's like torture. I've been crying since I woke up today.
Posts You May Be Interested In
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...