Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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help needed to help a friend

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi all. jst need a bit of advice really. i have a very close relationship with a friend we have been seeing each other for about a year. she made me aware of her depression early on and iv always tried to support her and give her the true lov that she really deserves. on a good day shes the greatest person ever and we have such a lught together but recently shes had a real bad relapse and i havnt heard from her in weeks. she did call 2 wks back to say hi and thanks for a gift i sent her but otherwise for several wks she doesnt answer my phone calls or txts.
all i want is to be there for her i cant imagine wot she is goin thru and no it must be hard but how can i convince her that im here for her n that she can rely on me and trust me. shes had real tough life being let dwn time and time again but how do i show that im not gna let her dwn. thing is wen she is well she tells me that iv been the only person she can trust n only person that makes her feel good about herself so why am i getting pushed away? i probably sound selfish n sond like im thinking of myself but im not im worrid sick about her, havent slept for weeks dnt feel like going to work or doin anything, really miss her and dnt no wot to do. any advice would be much appreciated. regards
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey I don't know how much help I can be but I have kinda been in the same situation with my best friend, he says I have pushed him away but I don't know how to let him in my life for fear of losing him if he knows what I am going thru...all I can say is just keep showing your love for her & offer to help her, she will apprieciate it and hopefully let you in her life to help soon, its a scary thing to tell others and to let them help especially if you have a fear of losing them even with them always saying they will never leave...thats just my input though, hope it helps some
deleted_user
deleted_user
Worrying yourself sick wont help either of you. Your friend sounds like she's isolating. I've done that ... still do sometimes. I feel guilty and pressured if someone tries too hard to draw me out, but phone calls, cards on my door or in the mail, flowers or inexpensive (expensive = guilt and obligation) gifts are pick-me-ups and reminders that you are thinking of her.
First you've got to make sure you are not sliding into a depression.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If she trusts you she will be in touch when she feels ready to talk again. Sometimes people just don't want to be around others... I long for solitude quite often. Don't push her.... she may just be scared that she'll drive you away or that you'll leave her for "someone better". Just keep sending her the odd text every few days to let her know you still care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I do this too. There is really nothing you can do. I have pushed a lot people away. Give her space but keep letting her know you are there at the same time by notes, etc. She will come out of it. I have lost a lot of ppl doing the same thing your friend is doing and it is scary and lonely but I am thankful to have a few good friends that understood me and stuck by me. She will appreciate it and she is grateful that you are hanging in there with her!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's all partof the depression, isolation is not unusual, neither is pushing away everyone. guypauls suggestions an waiting is all you can do. when pushed while I'm trying to isolate, I end up getting madder and say the wrong things, getting me even more depressed. Just knowing that a friend will listen and be there when you need them is a boost in itself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I too go through this from time to time. My explaination from my end of it is...I feel so miserable I don't want to bring anybody down. I also isolate myself because I get scared that if I'm a downer for too long, people will run when they see me coming and that really scares me. I wouldn't want to push any friends away. I would try to stay strong for her. Keep sending her texts and anything else that lets her know that you are thinking about her.That may be the one thing that keeps her going. It may be the one thing that she has to look forward to. Continue being the person that she can count on...it'll speak volumes to her. And in the mean time, stay connected with us and we'll help you stay strong.
Pulpit
Pulpit
Hi there my friend. I also push away those I love the most when I'm depressed. Don't let this fool you, that is when your friend will need you the most. When I am alone and isolated I don't want to be around anyone, but my brain is always spinning with thoughts of my friends and family....I miss them lots! It may seem like your friend is rejecting you but really she is probably missing you more than you're missing her. The last person I want around me when I am depressed is someone who loves me unconditionally and who is positive....they drive me crazy! When we are depressed our mind does everything backwards or upside down....and the whole time we are crying out for help but rejecting it....ahhhh! Your friend will come out of this and will be very grateful for your faithfullness. Keep reaching out to her and don't take anything negative personally, ok. Depressed people always stab the ones their closest too...probably for me because I trust them and know they will not give up on me. I want to encourage you to take care of yourself, get lots of rest and eat properly, your friend will need you when she comes out of this. Stay positive my friend and keep in touch with me. Love and Prayers Ramona xoxoxo
deleted_user
deleted_user
Big Hug to you, your a very special person.
Besides serious depression my bet is she's scared to death to trust or love.
I used to run, find a reason to go away and hide cuz I did not know how to act when someone cared for me...really cared.
I'll say my prayers for both of you...God is the only one who helped me get past all the garbage!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Keep sending msgs e-mail anythig she might not answer you but them help her anyway, I had been in the same situation and I never repay my sister e-mail but they let me know that someone out there caare about me.
go visit her and take her out. Do not ask her were probably she doesn't feel to go anywhere but you tell her you alrady have a special place to go to walk or eat, drink something or just to be outside talking. Wait for her to get dress even sugest her what to put on the day. beleveme she might not have the energy not even for that. DO NOT ASK her to dicide where to go, what does she feel like doing. If after all your efort she deside to stay home, be there with her in silence if she wants and tomorrrow be there again, I know sounds
goofy, but if you realy care for her do nat give up, befause she might give up on leaving and I am sure you do not want that. Hope what I said help you, been depress, like I'm now it is what I would like some one will do for me.
LULA
deleted_user
deleted_user
just dont give up on her, im sure she knows youre there for her:)
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