i hate this....i've been doing so well, but i'm away from home. i've had a couple of drinks and i can feel the ground slipping from under me. i can always tell when a slip is coming and i hate it and hate myself because i feel so helpless to stop it. I'm so angry with myself i just wanna slap myself in the face, punch myself even. for fuck sake pull yourself together you pathetic loser. how on earth did you find yourself a wife and friends when you're such a pathetic creature. how could anyone love you you make me sick. your nothing. i haTE MYSELF SO MUCH
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