
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
I am new at this, so here goes. im am 36, and i was addicted to painkillers for about 5 years.. ( Oxycontin, Percoset, Vicodin, Codeine, Demerol, Morphine.) basically, anything i could get my hands on. I have been clean for 3 months now, but I am taking Suboxone the limit the cravings. I am doing great with keeping off the drugs, but i am now very depressed. I am taking Celexa, but i think its too soon to know if its working. Im having trouble with my wife... she says my problems are putting too much of a burden on her, and she cant do it anymore. She doesnt want a divorce, but does not want to support my problem anymore. she says i need to find other means of help. Is it me, or is this Cold? I dont know what to do, and im at the end of the rope!!! Any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated.
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Of course we will all say that no matter what or how long, the person you are married to should support you. But what we come to realize is that some people just dont have it in them. Not that is bad, but we just need to realize it and find other resources for support.
Some times it could jsut be tough love from others that they are forcing you to take action as they dont know what to do or how to help anymore.
Just my thoughts on that
I cannot attempt to judge your wife nor her needs and frustrations. Addiction I know is a family disease. Are you going to meetings? Do you belong to NA? Are you able to work? Is the financial burden too much for her? Ask yourself, for these are personal questions and could be talked about in private messaging. I wish you luck with your detox and recovery and feel free to write me off board anytime. I hope this helped some, remember you are not alone here!
I think if you truly want to get clean it must be for you and only you. You must walk the walk as well as talking the talk
You need to speak with your doctor and find the right depression medicine thats works for you. What might work for me, wont necessarily work for you.
You must be willing to do the work for your recovery and your marriage
Now, there are times when we have to realizde ourselves that we have to take it upon oursleves to finally nip it in the bud for ourselves.
She must love you and want to work it out as you and she are back together. But you should also remember ler limitations. Not so much for her, but if you know this, then your expectations are more realistic towards what tpe of support you can get from her. This will have you then seeking other resources and lighten the stress on your relationship with her.
I have been told before that we just need to worry about our own side of the street and clean it up. Let her stay on her side and realize that is where she will be, you cant do anything about her, and if she doesnt want to be involved, it is a limitation probably of her own doing, not her lack of love for you.
So worry about your side of the street and taking care of yourself, the rest will face in place.
However, we all do have our limits, tough or not, and I think your wife is just trying to tell you she's burned out and needs to recouperate....in a way, trying to save a stressed out marriage, because neither one of you can give each other what you truly deserve, if you are worn out.
If you both want to stay together, some couples counseling would probably be helpful, because it is never just one person with the problems.
If either one of you has any doubts, a temporary seperation may be helpful, so you can each see yourselves by yourselves, for who you are, and what you want. It can be very difficult to sort things out and figure out who is doing what wrong (without blaming each other) when you continue relating together - you tend to keep repeating old patterns.
But if you are both willing/able to work on solving the issues and the problems as a team, without blaming, you might be able to do it together.
Dr. Phil has a really good book called "Relationship Rescue" that is helps you do that.
If you want to perk your wife's ears up, buy a copy and ask her to work through it with you.
Your wife is probably exhausted, maybe bruised and numb from your five years of use and having to deal with the ramification of your choices. None of which she had control. I am sure she is resentful as well.
If this is not your first time at attempting to get clean, she is probably sceptical too. Talk is cheap. She is probably at the point where she needs action, and not just three months worth.
I know that hurts and you feel lonely and want your wife's support, but come to terms--it may not happen because of her past hurts from your choice to take these painkillers.
See if you can get in a 12 step program. They are incredible. You will learn more about yourself than you ever imagined, and the bonus, you will learn to initiate the healing process with your family. You will even have the opprtunity to invite your family to the group.
Meanwhile, if the moment comes up where your wife is receptive, perhaps have some suggests for other women who meet that have husbands in the same situation.
Us women tend to shut down after years of disappointment. That doesn't mean we stop loving. Please be patient and kind toward her.
The biggest way you can ensure she is more receptive to you is to stay on track with being clean. I am sure "SHOW ME" is your ticket back into your wife's person.
So find a support group and go to it religiously. If you need more support, buddy-up with someone from the group, or find another type of group that is taking a different approach.
Try your hardest to focus on YOU. Your loved ones will see your commitment and work there way back into your life and know they are not setting themselves up for more hurt.
My opinion, but hope it helps.