This has been a very bad year in my family. In September we lost my grandfather, in October we lost my grandmother. It has been a horrible year. We had our last family vacation in May and it was a disaster, no one had a good time. In early September family from all around the country came together to celebrate my brother and sister in laws marriage. Something I so wanted to do for myself in 2023. However now the two most important people in my life growing up are gone. The holidays have always been extra special. However, this year, I am not feeling it. I am feeling depressed, I am feeling lonely. I am feeling like I have nothing to be happy about. I know that is not the case, as I have my son, who is two, who kinda gets the jist of what the holidays are, his eyes light up when we drive by house with the lights on. He loves the music that we can't seem to escape from. He loves the animated television shows. But I can't be happy. I can't get into the holiday spirit no matter how hard I try. We are broke, we need to move in less than a month, it just a lot of stress right now. It doesn't feel the holidays. Holidays are suppose to be happy not feeling like this. Hopefully over the next few weeks it will change, if not I'll at least learn how to pretend to be happy for my son.
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