I go through the motions myself at times in my life. You are not alone there. I do find that I feel differently when life feels a little better and when I feel better. Existing doesnt hurt and it doesnt beat me down when I feel strong and ok. I swear by counselling and meds. This is just 2 ways I live by. Do you do these things or anything else?

I feel the same way...alot of the time, I try to get my self out of that way of thinking cause that really can get you down.....another sad thing that I think about sometime is people in the health care business....mental helth too are only as caring as your money is green....I try not to think that way either.

You have a good point - that is what the book of Lamentations in the Bible is all about -- but there is also a flip side to that coin.

Especially in this country.

You have at least some choices of where you work, where you live, what car you buy, how you get to work, and what kind of entertainment you fill your time with.

You can't pick your family but you do pick your friends. And if your family is caring at all, they will help you out when you really need it.

Good Dr.s also heal people and save their lives and help them have a few more days to see their children and grandchildren.

Good lawyers also stand up for the innocent, the abused, and those that need help to get on SSI, for instance.

Good cops also help old ladies across the street because nobody else seems to do that anymore. They also stop people from abusing each other, pull people out of burning cars, and break up fights, putting their lives on the line every single day.

It is all a matter of how you look at it, and a matter of how much you put into life, is how much you will get out of it.

Is there ANYTHING in your life that makes you happy, satisfied, glad to be alive and make you feel like there is a purpose for being here?

Sometimes, I go to downtown Portland, buy a sandwich at Safeway, or a cup of coffee and some cookies at McD's and find someone who looks like they need one.

It makes their day, and mine, too.

I work in the medical field and trust me it is only about the money for most doctors. which is sad but true. Its suprising b/c I find myself turning into one of them and down talking medicaid patients but then I realize I don't have any medical insurance so medicaid patients are actually better off than I am. But please when you do go to the doctors office do not yell at the staff because that just breaks people down more

I am trained as a nurse, so I know exactly what you mean. But the same holds true for any part of life you want to look at -- even if money is a large motivation, there are still a lot of good people in the profession doing good things. And I would like to think I was one of them.

I try to be to like you where you try to do good things but I am so burned out from patients who are not dying bitching and yelling at me b/c they have been waiting for the doctor for 45 min when all the while the dr is telling another pt that they have cancer. but you can't say that you just have to apologize

i've thought about this a million times, but think of this: music can mean so much to you it makes your heart ache, friends can make you laugh so hard you piss your pants, family will be there for you no matter what you do cause they're family, they'll love you no matter what, and if you can make someone smile, you've made a difference...
but i feel you on the routine shit... sometimes i just wanna quit it all, live life by just living, but its not realistic... it'd still be sweet just to hippie it up and drive everywhere, live outta your car, meet people and crash where you can... but thats just not how it goes