if you belive in a plan for us all then with the way you are feeling you just have to let it play out. you are here for a reason. it all fits. some of us would just like to know where

Hang in there...You have had a lot on your plate...It does get really overwhelming when it seems you have more than your share of troubles...I am in the same boat financially/insurance-wise...I can recommend some alternatives that might help a little...at least get you to a place where you can start sorting things out...
I take the supplement SAM-e...available in the U.S. as a dietary supplement, but is actually a prescription anti-depressant in Europe...If you take it, you MUST take a B-100 complex with it...Without B-complex, there is a potential risk of stroke or heart attack...With the B-complex the problem doesn't exist...
I would also recommend taking a magnesium/calcium supplement, and an omega-3 supplement...These support our stress response systems...I can't tell you the difference that they have made in my world...Start with a 200 mg SAM-e a day...That is all I take and it works fine...There are few to no side effects with this, and it has proven to be as effective or more effective than prescription anti-depressants in european trials....Give it a try...

You are meant to do and say things here on earth. I don't have insurance either, and so I found alternatives - I was so desperate, I was in a terrible valley. So, I took some over the counter supplements for mood (SAMe) and I joined this support group so I had an outlet.

I am so glad that you won't choose to kill yourself. You're right - your family would be shattered.

It will be a combination of things that will help you feel better, like balanced diet/vitamins, proper amount of fluids/hydration, interacting with people and things that make you feel good. Prayer - sit and be still and listen as well as talking.

Think about the things in your life you want to reinvent. Start a new chapter.

Try your best to not let your feelings make all your decisions. Try to do what you know is right even if you don't feel like it.

Breathe. Take good care of yourself. I'll talk to you.

Remember that God knows better than us, and sometimes we have to have peace with what happens. Other times bad people make bad things happen, and then we have to let God take it and turn it into some kind of good. It's hard to reason it all out, but if you pray you can get answers.

Be well!

What if it was all random chance? The only thing that decides who you are and what you are is you. What's being a 'mistake' going to matter? You're alive now, so we gotta figure out where to go from here.
FYI: accidental conception, following by bad marriage. know what it's like

You are not a mistake - you were a surprise:
Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..."

I believe that nobody dies unless it's their time to die. That everything happens for a reason and in due season.

honey, you can call mental health in your area, you can get a thearapist and meds for free.

I don't believe there is a GOd that picks and chooses. It's all a combination of random chance and personal choice. It's up to us to make our lives mean something - there is no plan - no purpose - that's where free will comes in. It's a lot easier for people to believe in a "plan" because there is less responsibility inherent in that scheme of things. Without the plan, it's up to us - we have to take responsibility.