Zen, you need to concentrate on the positive things instead of the negative.

It's like putting $1.00 in a soda machine and getting your money back!

It's like opening a fortune cookie and having your fortune say, "Tomorrow brings much happiness" (I kept this one)

Like finding that you're out of milk, so I'll treat myself to an omelette instead!

When you drive to the store on Sunday and it's closed, go for a relaxing drive since you're out already.

Those are just examples of what the power of positive thinking can do.

Strive for what you can acheive and not for what is not within your reach. Read the thread I posted this morning on Procrastination. That list is comprised of "reachable" goals that I can achieve. Any step forward is a step in the right direction.

I'm with you on that Jana - Although some days are harder than others on the "glass is half full" thinking. It's like you have your inner voice having a disagreement with your mind. One thinks one way - and the other thinks the other way.

I have a right to my feelings, I don't need to think like anyone else on this board to be able to state my opinion.

Zen, I was in no way criticizing you for stating your feelings. It was an attempt to help, by offering another outlook to things that upset you. I apologize if my positive approach offends you.

I don't need your approval to think what I think, I have the power of reason to deduce my own opinion, and being offended would mean I somehow doubt my own reality.

Giving affection to yourself is one thing, and it does help when you are depressed. But if you are REALLY DEPRESSED, you won't be able to get over it alone. I've tried. I started off in the BREAK UPS AND DIVORCE COMMUNITY and now I'm here. I've been trying to do this myself for six months now and have gotten NOWHERE. I have very few friends now, and very little family here where I live. I am now seeking outside professional help. I'll let you know if it works.

bienblah do you really think I would have made this topic if I haven't been trying to help myself? I'm not sitting on my behind everyday not seeking help or alternative activities then babbling on the board about having no affection in my life. Its more complex than that and as afellow sufferer of depression I would hope you can understand that.

Zen - we understand what what you're saying. You posted a topic, and we responded. I'm sorry if you don't like what we had to say. But, when posting something expect a response. Might not be what you want to hear, but it's what we feel. No need to get defensive. No one is trying to cram anything down your throat. We're just responding to your post is all.

I've decided that since I'm getting a tax return this year (Yippie!!!!!) I'm going to treat myself to a day at the spa. I feel selfish as all hell doing it, but at the very least I'm going to get myself a message and drink some type of foo-foo drink and enjoy it - why because I deserve it....and if I don't do things for myself - who will?

Hi Peaceful...wow...your words sound like how I used to feel and talk. It took me years to get to the point that I was happy in my skin and could search out the positive. I can't always find the positive...and sometimes I think certain situations don't have 'positives'.
I think it's a daily struggle for a lot of us to find positive things. Somedays it's easier than others.
I hope being on DS with your friends and the support will be a positive thing for you.
Hugs

Wow! PeacefunZen! You must really be in a funk! People are trying to help you and you are really handing out some negative responces to them! Maybe if you tell us exactly how we can help you, then we can make you feel better.

PZ - I can relate to what you're saying, and maybe I am just getting tired of all the correcting going on lately - I think it is good to be positive, but also good to acknowledge when you're not. I don't thing PZ is wallowing in self-pity.
I struggle greatly with "positive thinking" It pisses me off. I feel like I am trying to talk myself out of my valid feelings of not feeling so great for a very good reason. I know that thinking positive is a good thing. I also know that my mother, who is/was a monster and a child moslester, cannot tolerate any thing BUT positive talk - so I feel like I am embibing in her "permanent positive denial" state when I think positive. And it reminds me too much of her. Can't do it. Makes me feel nauseous, angry, and a liar to think positive!!!

HOW DO YOU SHOW OR GIVE YOURSELF ANY KIND OF AFFECTION WHEN AT TIMES YOU CAN NOT STAND YOURSELF?

Once again, do not tell me how to feel. I may sound harsh but depression is a bitch and talking someone out of it is mute. Helping someone doesn't mean they just do a 360 after your suggestions and become marypoppinsunshine. THis is a depression forum not a walk in the park people/

I DO NOT WANT TO TELL ANYONE HOW OR WHEN TO FEEL AFFECTION. I JUST WONDER HOW YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF ANY WHEN AT TIMES YOU CAN NOT STAND YOURSELF?

I cannot stand myself all of the time - that is what dissociation is for. If I was not dissociative, I would have died a long time ago. I would have killed myself, and I wouldn't have had children. Some people would say that would have been a good thing, including me sometimes. But I think the Big Man upstairs must disagree. His word, I can trust.