I guess someone somewhere hates me in addition to watching my sister basically kill herself and bad trigger days i've had im now dealing with the fall out and over thinking of an argument thay happened a few days ago with my family. I utter one sentence about my almost 40 year old brother needing to learn to be more independent and i get ganged up on and told i never lived on my own i was a failure and not to start that shit with my brother and listen to my aunt refer to my boyfriend as "the guy who fucked everything up". And when i attempt to defend myself and him my mom decideds now she wants to get involved only to tell me to knock it off and not be mad.
I dont recall seeing anyone standing next to me in the middle of the night losing sleep to make sure Pop was still breathing, i never had any help doing all the chores around here plus take care of him at the same time. I was a 20 year old girl that got a shit ton of responsibilities heaped on her shoulders that no body else had the guts to step up and deal with. Yet im the failure??!!
You can only push the nice girl so far before she snaps, and this girls about to start snapping.
I feel like a terrible person... I feel like every time I open my mouth I hurt someone. I feel like every decision I make is questionable. I have no faith in my abilities. The new job is going well, but I feel like they are probably sick of me asking stupid questions. I just want to make sure it is absolutely clear to me so I don't make a fatal error and kill a patient. I sometimes wish I were...
I just moved to a new city for a job, without my family, and it is stressing me out. My anxiety is getting the best of me. I never thought that being away from them would be so stressful, but the anxiety has hit me hard. I am trying to form new social/support groups, which helps, and I am trying to stay busy. Has anyone out there been in this situation?