I am 13 and I remeber every single day of my cousin getting shot. My uncle shot her think the gun wasn't loaded. This was 8 years ago btw. I miss her soo much and I only remeber this 1 memory of meand her on a slide getting sprayed by water guns by kids. I forget how old we were but it was the only memory I remember. I was only 6 at the time but I feel like I could have done somehting to make her still here. I have bad family history. My uncle had a mental illness, mydad got arrested at 17, just found out my cousin was adopted, my cousin just got arrested for stabbing a guy multipletimes and the guy is still alive, had a pick up my adopted cousin from juvie 3 times last year, 2 times his year, my uncle shot himself and his daughter (my cousin). I have been depressed every day since November 25, 2011. The day she was shot. I remember being told she was burned in a fire and later finding out she was shot. I found this out at school, when we had to look up our last names. My Name is Nick Jarmuzek, yeah look up my last name and you will find a $hit ton of articles of my family of the crimes. So, look up Tyler Jarmuzek, my cousin who stabbed a guy. I have been made fun of, called just about anyhting you can think of, made fuun of because of my family history. A group of kids told my whole school that I am going to be just like my family. I hae no friends and you wonder why. Every friend I make, some body tells aout my history. Every body at school tells me to kill my self. I am thinking about doing it. I am sick of being made fun of by kids, friends, strangers, teacher, yeah teachers. My teacher looked up all of our last names in class. The next day, every body talks aout me and the teachers give me looks like I am a danger. The one teacher said I was a good kid, the rest told her about my fmaily and I get looks. The one teacher knew my cousin who is on jail now. He said, is tyler? The class said, he is in jail and Nick is going to be just like him. My dad has never been in my life and is doing every thing with my brother, brother, sister, sister, sister. I have 5 other siblings and he is in each of their lives. I am the reason my parents are divorced. I was 4, in a bed with a lady riding my dad nude, having 20 cats in a trailer. I remeber the day before tht we were going to get pizza. WhenI was 7, My stepmom slammedmy heaf on a bathroom wall. Locked me in a bathroom for 4 hours because I didn't want to go in the water. I just made a best friend and just today he said to me, My mom thinks you are a bad influenceon me. Why? Because of my family history. PLs help me by telling stories and wht to do. I want to end all this pain.
i was trying to get through the day on a positive note and then i made the mistake of going into my mom's room and talking with her about family issues. wow, what a powder keg. i don't have the time or energy to get into the whole thing but it was bad. a bad screaming argument. basically, she is living with me because she needs my help and has no where else to go right now and because of...
Once in a while I read posts here, I see people would rather be miserable and stay miserable. I'm trying to not judge, but how can people feel better if they don't want to help themselves? I mean not feel better, just more like being comfortable. I know there's no cure for depression, it can be managable. If I'm wrong, please tell me. Thanks