okay. i guess since all the crap in my world has changed the way i view things, is it okay for me to be a little selfish every now and then? not so much as to turn my back on anyone or everyone, but to do for me rather than doing for someone else all of the time? there are things in this world i'd like to see, do, and experience before i leave. hopefully i'll get to enjoy part of it before that happens and i don't intend to rush it either. anyway, i get so sick of most everyone else thinking that i "have" to take care of them. am i not obligated to take care of myself from time to time in order to be around should they REALLY need me? i think so. i know it sounds selfish and inconsiderate but i just can't take care of everyone all of the time. no one is going to take care of me so should i not do it for myself? and in doing so, at least be sensitive to the wants, needs, and desires of others yet look out for number one too? i have a great deal of responsibilities that i have taken on in life (which most can be trimmed) and for some reason, i'm rethinking my personal obligations. is it not fair for others to allow me to be an individual and accept responsibility for my own actions without having to do the same for theirs all of the time? i know this sounds selfish. i know it does. i just can't help it though. i'm tired of "raising" those around me. please don't take offense as i don't mean any offense to any of you. however, there is not a soul on this planet who bleeds when i get cut, physically hurts when i break a bone (like recently), or picks my nose and wipes my ass. so, i guess i'm being selfish. or am i? could i just be looking out for number one....me? or am i becoming a distant, cold, and hateful person? not really sure. i'll think this through again and let you know in the not so distant future.
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