Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi there fellow DSers. I have been suffering from severe depression for the last month plus. It is all pretty new to me, but i am discovering alot about myself. (not that i really wanted to).
First off i think that looking into my past that i have probably been depressed for quite a long time......but never to this point. I have always been a bit insecure and pretty needy in my relationships. And i think ive always turned to my girlfriends of the past to fill a whole in my soul........that perhaps they could never fill. I'm not sure where this stems from but it bothers me. I think i've never really fealt secure in who i am as a person or what i have to offer to the world........and that REALLY bothers me. I got married 2 years ago and thought everything was gonna be better, i moved to Canada and thing were pretty happy for awhile. But i noticed a major lack of affection from my wife. And that has been a big problem for me since. I become more and more needy and she becomes more and more standoffish. Now it has gotten to the point where i feel like i cant live without her, but am destructively becoming more and more needy. I feel i should try to find the joy in myself, but everytime i try and do something i should be interested in i just figure say "whats the point?" or "i'm not doing anything new or worthwhile". or "i'm hopeless to always feel down on myself." and the thing that is so maddening is i dont really believe these thoughts but they just keep coming! i dont want to lose my wife, or myself. i keep looking for answers and getting nowhere. any tips?
First off i think that looking into my past that i have probably been depressed for quite a long time......but never to this point. I have always been a bit insecure and pretty needy in my relationships. And i think ive always turned to my girlfriends of the past to fill a whole in my soul........that perhaps they could never fill. I'm not sure where this stems from but it bothers me. I think i've never really fealt secure in who i am as a person or what i have to offer to the world........and that REALLY bothers me. I got married 2 years ago and thought everything was gonna be better, i moved to Canada and thing were pretty happy for awhile. But i noticed a major lack of affection from my wife. And that has been a big problem for me since. I become more and more needy and she becomes more and more standoffish. Now it has gotten to the point where i feel like i cant live without her, but am destructively becoming more and more needy. I feel i should try to find the joy in myself, but everytime i try and do something i should be interested in i just figure say "whats the point?" or "i'm not doing anything new or worthwhile". or "i'm hopeless to always feel down on myself." and the thing that is so maddening is i dont really believe these thoughts but they just keep coming! i dont want to lose my wife, or myself. i keep looking for answers and getting nowhere. any tips?
deleted_user
Have a think about why your wife married you, she must love you a lot. Concentrate on the good in you, it might make you realise you are a worthwhile person and husband instead of waiting for her to show you all the time.
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welcome and hope you enjoy your stay here ^_^
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bump
deleted_user
bump yo im in despair. ;)
deleted_user
Are you on meds? If so & they are right, your depression should lift. I'm glad you don't believe the negative thoughts but depressed people get them; it's a symptom. I really hope your wife can realize that depression is something that you cannot help. She will need to see you doing things to help yourself & then maybe she will be more sympathetic. My husband didn't want to "deal" with it either (who does) but he did try in small ways & for that I am grateful. Good luck to you.
deleted_user
I wish I had words of comfort for you..but forbes advice is good... concentrate on the good... concentrate on what you have done. *hugs*
deleted_user
bump - hey that's funny that you bumped yourself -good for you!
deleted_user
my husband wanted to sweep it all under the carpet until i locked him a room with me and made him listen to how he was making me feel with his unsympthatic ways. maybe your wife is not hearing how awful you feel. hope this is of some help
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bump
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Thanks to you all, yeah well, i think it's that she is such a brick wall when it comes to communication.......she doesnt want to discuss or face anything. kind of frustrating for someone like me who thinks way way way too much about everything. I dont want to lose her, but i'm not sure i can MAKE her talk.....ive tried. i think the only thing left i can do is try and have us go to counseling, which she doesnt want to do either. sigh.
deleted_user
I did this same thing to my husband, became needier and needier, and he was really turned off by it. Maybe if you talked to your wife and let her know why you are being needy. Have you talked to her about your depression? It really helped my husband to know that that's why I was behaving that way, and now I know that it's something I need to work on inside of my self and not something he needs to do.
deleted_user
i dont have any advice but i am needy on my friend. the same thing you describe with your wife is me with my best friend except we are just friends ..nothing sexual. know you arent alone. its tough and it sucks to be needy. i can relate.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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