Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I read a lot on here about how people feel bad. A lot of journals and post are filled with stories of bad things and feelings. I know it is good to get this stuff out. I also do notice that people do write about the happy also, but there is an awful lot of bad. That is fine but I wonder about something........
Maybe we should look at where we live most of the time. I mean what we talk about and what we think about. Where do you spend most of your time, in the bad or the good? look over all your journal entries and see what the feeling is in the majority of them. Notice all of your conversations you have each day with the people you encounter. When you are alone, notice what thoughts occupy and dominate your thinking.
Try this experiment: look at a picture of something that has at least 4 different colors on it, in equal proportion. A rainbow is a good example. Now stare at that picture and focus on only one of the colors. Really look at how that color is there in the picture. Say the name of the color over and over and think of other things you know that are that color. do this for a good while, like 5 minuets, if you can, or as long as you can. Now put the picture away and spend a minuet or two thinking about something else. Now try and see that picture in your mind. what color dominates your mental picture? Just an interesting exercise.
Did you ever get a new type of car, one you weren't familiar with? And after having the car, did you notice how many of that same model there are on the roads that you never noticed before? Since I got my motorcycle, which is a Ducati, a brand a lot of people seem to not be familiar with, many people I know, particularly the ones who aren't heavy into motorcycles all report to me all the Ducati sightings they see whether in person or on Tv, etc. I'm sure if I never got it, they would never noticed them at all. But now it is something that exist and is more common to them although the number of Ducatis there are really hasn't changed at all.
I have noticed people who were in a bad mood and when I said something extremely funny ( because I am hilarious, Ha Ha!), they will smile for a second, notice they are smiling, and go back to feeling bad. Sometimes they will even deny that they are happy at all.
Maybe we can spend our days making note of all the times we are happy. Maybe we can focus on each and every time something makes us smile. Not just the great happiness, but the little happiness and even contentment and just peace. Or even we could keep a little journal where we just write a little note about each time we feel any happiness at all during the day. Or just decide to only write about happiness in our journal for maybe a week or a month. Or maybe you could just respond to this by writing about something happy that you remember.
Maybe you think I'm full of it and that this will never work. Maybe you think the ideas I have and the things I write won't have any effect on what you think. Ok, there is a way to prove that to yourself. Right now do not picture what a blue elephant looks like.
Smile!
Maybe we should look at where we live most of the time. I mean what we talk about and what we think about. Where do you spend most of your time, in the bad or the good? look over all your journal entries and see what the feeling is in the majority of them. Notice all of your conversations you have each day with the people you encounter. When you are alone, notice what thoughts occupy and dominate your thinking.
Try this experiment: look at a picture of something that has at least 4 different colors on it, in equal proportion. A rainbow is a good example. Now stare at that picture and focus on only one of the colors. Really look at how that color is there in the picture. Say the name of the color over and over and think of other things you know that are that color. do this for a good while, like 5 minuets, if you can, or as long as you can. Now put the picture away and spend a minuet or two thinking about something else. Now try and see that picture in your mind. what color dominates your mental picture? Just an interesting exercise.
Did you ever get a new type of car, one you weren't familiar with? And after having the car, did you notice how many of that same model there are on the roads that you never noticed before? Since I got my motorcycle, which is a Ducati, a brand a lot of people seem to not be familiar with, many people I know, particularly the ones who aren't heavy into motorcycles all report to me all the Ducati sightings they see whether in person or on Tv, etc. I'm sure if I never got it, they would never noticed them at all. But now it is something that exist and is more common to them although the number of Ducatis there are really hasn't changed at all.
I have noticed people who were in a bad mood and when I said something extremely funny ( because I am hilarious, Ha Ha!), they will smile for a second, notice they are smiling, and go back to feeling bad. Sometimes they will even deny that they are happy at all.
Maybe we can spend our days making note of all the times we are happy. Maybe we can focus on each and every time something makes us smile. Not just the great happiness, but the little happiness and even contentment and just peace. Or even we could keep a little journal where we just write a little note about each time we feel any happiness at all during the day. Or just decide to only write about happiness in our journal for maybe a week or a month. Or maybe you could just respond to this by writing about something happy that you remember.
Maybe you think I'm full of it and that this will never work. Maybe you think the ideas I have and the things I write won't have any effect on what you think. Ok, there is a way to prove that to yourself. Right now do not picture what a blue elephant looks like.
Smile!
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I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
That is the catch-22 of having depression. You're stuck in it because you need to get up and moving, and you can't get up and get moving, because you're stuck.
It's also a matter of not having the brain power to do it.
That is the difference between being in a depressed mood, and having major depression.
When you are in a depressed mood, you can make yourself get up and get moving, by motivation like you are talking about.
When you have major depression, what you are talking about becomes just another burden of something to do, that takes up energy.
Perhaps I'm just lucky enough to be on meds that actually do what they are supposed to do, and I found a good therapist who focused on learning how to live with it instead of rehashing every horrid aspect of life from birth til now. I was in years of therapy that focused on the past and yeah, it helped, but it was hard to live in the here and now while digging up and coming to terms with all the horrid crap. When I am able, I choose not to dwell on the past. And I do a lot of art therapy, all my art is therapy.
I still have days/weeks that I don't get dressed, days I stay inside with the drapes pulled tight, days I go outside in jammies, days I don't go anywhere. (Yes, I'm still driving on that gas from filling up on January 4th.) but this thing, this depression, she is not me, she is my nemisis and sometimes she wins and I'm at her mercy for awhile. But I savor my reprieves, those sweet blessed moments where I can smile. And THAT is where my happiness is... written on my face in crinkle little wringle lines. It tickles me because I had many years I could not smile.
The other part of not having the energy to get dressed...I believe is more to the point..that You don't see a reason to get dressed. Depression saps your motivation for living in its most fundamental state...showering, getting dressed...even eating..become a chore.
I am going to not fall into this...I say that...cause I don't feel horrible right now...but I am carrying around Burn's book as a sort of Bible...to ...when I get into those thoughts...to read the passages that help lift it... If I let myself sink...it will be that much harder to come up... so I guess I am fighting with every ounce of my being...to not slip. This doesn't mean I am superiour...cause 6 years ago I slipped and slipped and slipped...and only thorough partial hospitalization...that went on seemingly forever...and paxil...did I get even an inclination to come out.
My husband used to pull me up out of bed...and I would just be a slug and say NO>.. I only weighed about 100 lbs...cause I never ate...I did shower though...which was odd because I was so down that nothing mattered...but my OCD side made me shower..at least 3 times a day. Anyway, he would like pull me up and say "let's go to the park"...and I would say NO...and he would keep at me...and I would tell him to leave me alone...and he eventually would...and then I would slowly get up and go. Did it make me feel better??? Not necessarily...maybe just a tad. Course resuming the do nothing behaviour would occur as soon as he left for work on Monday. It was almost like i needed a babysitter... I eventually got into partial hospitalization where I HAD to go or insurance would stop covering it. I think the good that it did...on most days..outweighed the motivation to not go. Those days are a fog...don't even know how I drove there...but I did.
I also think it helps if you have someone encouraging you. If you are alone...it is harder to do anything...the tendency is to get all dialed in the bed...and dwell...ruminate. Once you start...makes it that much harder to stop.
Anyway...sorry to go on an on..but Starfish is right...a depressed mood is NOTHING like depression. Depressed mood more often = situational sadness. Depression = emptiness and what is the point.