Ive been cutting myself for about 6 months now. Nothing seems to be helping. I started when my mom got cancer. then a guy asked me out. i dont get asked out often because i dont have many guy firends. but when i get a boyfriend we dont only have a physical bond we have a mental one. so i thought that this guy would help me through this. but he ignored me for our whole relationship. he said he never even wanted to go out with me in the first place and that he was forced to ask me out. so he didnt help. then i got called fat in class infront of everybody. so i started eating less and throwing up more. I was in bed acouple nights ago and i look at the foot of my bed and i saw myself with a gun in my mouth and a note beside me and i pulled the trigger. the only thing is that nobody cared. nobody went to my funeral. they just went on with there lives. i told my friend that i had suicidal thought and all she said was that it was normal. so i keep haveing them becasue their "normal". I dont talk to my other firends about this because i think that my problems are my problems not their so why bring them into this?? but i want to talk to somebody...somebody who would actually care and listen to what i had to say. i thought my "boyfriend" would be that person....but i guess not. i want to stop waking up in the middle of the night crying because i had another nightmare where i killed myself. i want to stop cutting. i want to stop feeling sorry for myself.
Posts You May Be Interested In
Feeling pretty bad today. I'm exhausted in every way. Tired of living this life where nothing changes or gets better despite how much I try. Had a bad life all my life and I'm just tired of being here.