My backstory and reasons for depression are on my profile.
I feel as though I keep so busy so I don't have to think about any of this. I haven't been happy in my current city for a long time, and I sit and research another city to move to, because it's so much cheaper. I also try to take weekend trips to escape, because I'm just over it all. I also hate that everywhere I look, there are memories of my deceased fiance. It's a reminder of what I lost.
I've been having issues with my aunt recently, who helps with my daughter. Despite me picking up groceries, taking her to dinner, or doing household chores to show appreciation; I'm told that I either picked up the wrong item or it's not as good as the item she buys. Makes me feel worthless, and I think she's a controlling person.
I know I have been a lot quieter at work, and I try to avoid small talk. I just don't have the energy or happiness to engage with people. I want to focus on work and just leave for the day. I even asked to move desks so I could have a quieter workspace.
Lately, I just feel it's always something. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to fall. I just feel like I have been putting on a facade to mask these feelings. I don't think my current boyfriend realizes the extent of my depression, and I don't want to drag him down.
Can anyone relate?
I have depression schizophrenia and bipolar. Also there are times i have tears coming from my eyes and i wouldn't feel upset. Does this happen to you? It happens to me almost 3 times a day.
why doesnt anyone talk to me when im desperate? but ill never give up on u, friends. M. xo