I am feeling so down right now and have been for a cpl of weeks. I know this is something I will have to deal w/ for the rest of my life but I don't know how to handle it. I feel unable to handle anything. I feel like I am or have lost my mind literally, like half my brain is disabled. I am scared and alone. I am worried. I think I might lose control over myself sometimes and end up in jail or something. I am fearful when I go out. I don't even know what diff. it would make even if I did feel better. I still can't function in life and I am still scared. I don't understand why life is like that. I know I am sick and that it just happens to be but still. I am so scared inside myself and outside my self. This is my past , present and future not b/c I choose it to be but b/c of the fact and reality that I am unwell and have a mental illness. I just need help dealing and if I wasn't going through life alone maybe it wouldn't be so bad...to have someone here to love me and care about me and just be w/ me instead of me dealing w/ this illness all alone. I know that can't be good. What do I do? I can't continue to live this way...sick and alone.
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