Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I admit- i am a double poster- I posted this on the shyness forum. However, this is not getting a lot of traffic at this time of day. and noticed this forum was and this is related to depression so posting here.
I am not sure how to address this. I have a coworker who is very immature. She will make comments out loud about what she doesn't like about the job,etc. I used to get a long with her fine.
I am not sure what shifted recently but she has definitely become hostile toward me and I am not the first person. I checked in with a trusted coworker and confirmed I am not imagining her behvior. Yesterday at a staff meeting, I took a pile of papers that were passed around in the wrong order and she grabbed them out of my hand and reprimanded me in front of everyone. Then, I was saying something and she rolled her eyes while I was talking (confirmed this).
We found out our work stations are being moved to another row. I will be across from her. She went on to announce after the meeting how unhappy she was and the only good thing about where she was sitting was this other coworker. Granted, she did not say, I don't want to sit across from (my name). The implication was obvious though. In my experience, confronting a bully has helped without getting anyone else involved.
I am not sure what to do though really. Ignoring does not seem to make the situation go away because she is too charged with whatever is triggering her about me.
Any feedback?
I am not sure how to address this. I have a coworker who is very immature. She will make comments out loud about what she doesn't like about the job,etc. I used to get a long with her fine.
I am not sure what shifted recently but she has definitely become hostile toward me and I am not the first person. I checked in with a trusted coworker and confirmed I am not imagining her behvior. Yesterday at a staff meeting, I took a pile of papers that were passed around in the wrong order and she grabbed them out of my hand and reprimanded me in front of everyone. Then, I was saying something and she rolled her eyes while I was talking (confirmed this).
We found out our work stations are being moved to another row. I will be across from her. She went on to announce after the meeting how unhappy she was and the only good thing about where she was sitting was this other coworker. Granted, she did not say, I don't want to sit across from (my name). The implication was obvious though. In my experience, confronting a bully has helped without getting anyone else involved.
I am not sure what to do though really. Ignoring does not seem to make the situation go away because she is too charged with whatever is triggering her about me.
Any feedback?
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Anything you say in private to the co-worker could come back to haunt you.
Take it to management and start a paper trail. Document days, times, places of past incidents and present it to management. Stress how this co-worker is negatively affecting your productivity. Ask for a three-way meeting to clear the air and iron out any difficulties so you can return to being the productive worker that you are.
Keep things formal between you, yet without sarcasm.
Her antics (taking papers out of your hand and lecturing you) are not lost on others. Small, short comments from you may help out. Things like "that was interesting" or "OK, now about ... " may help you steer things back to neutral work centered activity.
Confrontational people tend to enjoy getting a rise out of others. If you use these short replies when they try to get your goat you deflate them. This is especially true when they keep changing their attack, but you keep using the same reply.
Good luck with this lady! And yea, Nteminder's suggestion about a paper trail is a very good one!
this type of person:
Rather than losing your temper feeling all the frustration and pain that comes with it there are communication techniques to combat difficult people 10 examples;
1) When you INTERRUPT ME, I get frustrated and loose my thoughts. I need you to let me finish before you start talking then I will listen to what ever you have to say.
2) When you MAKE TO MUCH NOISE or ask me things when I am doing something. I can't concentrate. I'd appreciate it if you would keep the volume down and wait until I have finished what ever I am doing.
3) When you arrive late or do not call it puts me behind schedule and causes other problems for me. i need you to be on time or call me with enough time so I can rearrange things please.
4)When I hear you tell people personal things I confided in you. I'm disappointed and uncertain whether I can trust you.
5)When you slam the doors or bang things around when you are telling me something. I get too upset to listen to you or concentrate on what you are saying I need you to stop doing that.
6) When you yell at me I get to upset to even care what you are saying. I can listen better if you speak to me in the volume I am using right now (Just be careful you are having a screaming fit when you tell him that)
Option: Look as I see it, we can either talk calmly now or wait until later.
Another option: We can get a lot accomplished here, but only if we can keep the volume down.
Another option: I'll listen to whatever you have to say, but I can't concentrate on any of it when it's this loud.
7)When you get on at me in front of others, I feel uncomfortable and it makes me mad, I will be more likely to listen to you if you talk to me in private.
8)When you stare at my every move, I feel uncomfortable and I get the message you think I am going to do something wrong.
I'd appreciate it if you would stop doing it.
9)When you chat with me or ask me to do things while I am on the phone or the computer, I can't concentrate on what you are saying or what you want me to do. I need you to wait until I am finished what I am doing so I can get what you are saying or wanting.
10)When you speak to me sarcastically, I really get mad, frustrated and feel bad,
We can get on a lot better and get more done together if you talk to me respectfully.
You can mix and match to most situations.