Ive not posted here for a while. The last few weeks have been crazy. I finished up an intense graduate level course (Im still undergrad) and somehow managed to say goodbye to a friend that passed away, and pack for my trip back to college. Im all moved into my new place now but Im not feeling up to par. I miss my family a lot, mostly my grandfather because he is very old and frail. I also miss my dogs and even my parents. I enjoy being on my own but it takes me a while to readjust to life without my best friend being right down the road (my pap). I spend so much time with him and we do everything together and the last four months he has been in and out of the hospital again and againwhich made this move in so much harder because I wonder if I will get to see him again. I guess anyone can pass away, but the thought of him dying keeps me awake at night sometimes. The move in general has just been hard. Last night I went out by myself to pick up a few things and I had another issue with feeling so overwhelmed that those bad thoughts were back again in full force. I tried my best to occupy my mind, which I will have to do these next few days as my roommate has not moved in yet. I just feel very sad and very alone, I know I have friends in town and such but they are all moving into their new places as well so maybe I will see them soon. I guess what is bugging me the most is that I feel like this is what my life is going to be like when my pap does pass away and I honestly dont know if I can deal with thatthe pain would just be too much. Im also full of anxiety about my last semester of school. Its overwhelming too. I guess you could say I just feel like everything is coming at me from all different angles and I have no idea what to do next. Has anyone else felt this way?
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