So at my job I do nothing but sit and stare at the computer... which is not a good thing for me because I think about everything...good, bad, ugly, it doesnt matter i think about it all day. sometimes I want to cry, sometimes I want to yell, but I cant because Im in this quiet, small, annoyingly clean office and I cant do anything. How do you deal with having to think about your thoughts all day long, and not being able to let them ll out...sometimes I want to explode.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...