LAST NIGHT I HAD A REALLY BAD REALITY CHECK...I WAS LOOKIN AROUND ON MYSPACE AND FOUND AN OLD FRIEND WHO HAD LIVED SEMI-WILD AS I HAD.....SHE IS NOW A NURSE AND HAPPILY MARRIED!!...I GOT SO DEPRESSED, AND FELT LIKE, WHY AM I HERE....I WENT DOWN THE WRONG PATH IN LIFE, AND I'M ASHAMED..I WAS CRYING, AND FELT LIKE DYING.....I DIDN'T SLEEP TIL 6AM...............I WENT TO A DOC AND SHE GAVE ME SOME MEDS....SUPPOSED TO HELP U SLEEP, NON ADDICTIVE, BUT MY MIND WAS GOIN AROUND IN CIRCLES, AND I WAS SO SAD..IT MADE ME MELLOW, LIKE I WAS DRUNK...BUT MY MIND DIDN'T REST.....
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??