well i feel depressed again and all i want to do is cry. i have not had any real negative thoughts yet so thats good. i am just so confused and hurt over some things that happend that i am not sure of anything or anybudy anymore. my only best friend i think turned on me and messed with my heart and emotions. she is going to write me thst is what i hear but i have not heard from her yet. i feel alone alot of the time because the person that i trusted the most has betrayed me. i lost my job and i would like to think she had nothing to do with it but part of me cant help to think that she did. she just said all these things about me i think and told me alot of false crap. i have been depressed before but this time the pain feels worse. i think its because its all the shit i have heard others think and said about me and this hsit is causing me to think the worse of myself. its also causing alot of my past to come up and that also bugs the hell out of me.my past just hunts me and i think the present in turn will too. why do i get so troubled over all this stuff????? how do i make all thsi pain stop.