Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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feel like cutting myself

deleted_user
deleted_user
I never usually create posts but i need to vent.I talked about it in my journal but i feel like it here.I havent cut in like 3 years but the past 2 days have been horrible.The urge is sooooooooooooooooo strong.I dont even know where it is coming from.And my brain keeps insulting the one "person" who could really help, God
my brain is driving me nuts.i just want it to shut up.I hate cutting then im left with some stupid wound i have to care for.My brain gets cocky since i want to be a surgeon.I keep telling myself i couldnt possibly messs up since i have good hand coordination.I just want to feel peace in my head.maybe i will email one of my docs to vent.i dont know.
deleted_user
deleted_user
is something happening in your life right now to set your desire to cut - you have managed not to cut for 3 years...that a long time, can you remember what helped you cope in those last 3 years? please don't cut, it works at first, but then there is tomorrow...stay on line w/us and keep talking. will do what i can to help..
deleted_user
deleted_user
well my advice it to not cut. youll only feel more upset afterwards every time you look at the left over scare. its emabarassing. I struggle with cutting too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
mt thoughts have just been bad lately and i have a lot of guilt about them.I guess cutting would be punishment.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i understand that, but then, i'd feel guilty that i cut, and have to cover it up and make stories... do you feel like sharing what you feel guilty about?
deleted_user
deleted_user
my brain keeps insulting God.Like bad insults, like to f off and stuff like that.even in church.it is actually worse there.I dont know where it is coming from.and insults about other people.
deleted_user
deleted_user
well, if God is really what we think God is...then God will forgive you no matter what..even insults... I know I've had some hard times the same as you with thoughts that make me crazy... stay with us..it's ok to angry, i know i go there, even w/ God...
deleted_user
deleted_user
yeah i just think he will be mad at me for my head.
deleted_user
deleted_user
well, you can alway apologize later, my feeling, God totally understands and loves you anyway...
deleted_user
deleted_user
i vented to him yesterday,lol
and said i was sorry
deleted_user
deleted_user
are you feeling any better?
deleted_user
deleted_user
thanks:) i feel a little better, less "crazy" lol
but i am still anxious today.i hate feeling that way, like impulsive
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