I don't know what causes you stress, but I know for me, one of the stressors/triggers that I have is when someone is obsessed with me. It's happened a few times. I haven't had to put up with it during the pandemic, really, because I have been at home. To begin with, I come from an abusive/domestic violence background, and so I've basically been terrorized from the beginning. In fact, he dispatched a private detective to follow me when I went to the womens' shelter. Anyway, that's the background.
I've had a few times-ok more than a few-where distant acquaintances became really obessed to the point of never. giving. up. Every time, it was extremely overwhelming and anxiety-producing. It generally ended in me leaving the social group completely. In one instance I can think of, there were a few obsessive men in this case, one who went ballistic over a woman who was not interested, and that was scary to witness. Simultaneously, there was a guy there that just kept at it like a pit bull after a bone with me. I HATED IT.
The situation for me is that I basically have a surrogate family because the domestic violence I talked about above was due to my parent. So, this group of people consists of generally older people, and two of them, a couple, are basically like surrogate parents, so the group is important to me. If it weren't for them, I would for the most part be alone on all holidays. They are the 'other family' that I go to because my own is absolutely crazy.
Problem is, there are a few men there, who are also about my parents' age. A couple of them are just totally obsessive, and about younger women in general and really objectify them. There is one there that moves for work and comes back-he is back now. He's been fixated on dating me for about ten years. I HATE IT SO MUCH!!! I'm at a point where I almost am about to let the whole group and even the surrogate parents go because I can't deal with this anymore. There was one who was running around putting his hands all over women, and me. I stopped going for months. I can't figure out WHY this other man won't forget about it. I reject him constantly and all the time-decline any and all invitations, never reciprocate. I was in a relationship last year and it's over, but he seemed even jealous over that. He strikes me as controlling. His face makes me sick, just the way he smiles at me with that crazy look in his eyes. This past weekend he just went on and on insisting and forcing to try to make me eat things, saying that I "Have to put on weight." Far as I'm concerned, I don't have to do ANYTHING. I don't have to change anything to suit him or alter anything for anyone. And, I really feel like women are the puppets of society. Yes-I am ranting. When I was overweight I was supposed to be thin. I lost the weight for myself and because my doctor said to. Who does he think he is trying to tell me what I am supposed to look like?
About eight years ago, I lost my patience when there were people that tried to force me into a relationship with him. When there are larger parties there are more people to circulate around so I don't worry about it as much. But this weekend, I am supposed to go to the surrogate parents' house for the religious holiday. I am ovewhelmed with panic thinking that he is going to be there, and then it will be us with them and I will be cornered. I am trying to think of an out. It makes me sick enough to vomit.
I see no purpose most days. I keep busy a lot. I work, go to church. I wondering if I need church. I feel very depressed, and not much purpose. I go to work, it feels good when you come home and it is nice to fend for yourself or I try. The only enjoyment I get is food and drinking coffee and.seltzer and I do it in excess.
i finally the courage to leave my abusive relationship. it's been a month since i left and my life seems less scarier than i thought it would be. isn't it weird how anxiety tells you how bad something is going to be but it turns out to be the biggest most uncomfortable amazing thing ever? haha. i broke up with him after he yelled at me over keys. after that there was a week where we talked (i...