for the longest time, maybe even when I was a kid many, many years ago, I felt like I was invisible. unseen. unheard. by everyone. Sure I had a few friends, parents that loved me etc. but I just didnt fit in! ANYWHERE1 Lost and confused, hopeless and hurting I turned to what became the primary focus in my life Heroin. 30 plus years later all I have to show for myself is a felony record, prison time many people that would rather not even look my way much less talk to me and a total feeling of absolute annonimity. Lost. alone. unwanted. Now for the most part some of these feelings are legit. but I quit doing drugs and the drug life 8 yrs. ago. why do I not feel much better?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??