Men don't like me. I'm fat and disgusting. I'm not dieting anymore either. For what? Conformity? Acceptance? I'd rather be unhealthy and die young than find someone as a thin woman, who would most likely never have looked at me as a fat one. I'm no longer wasting my time on this crap. I might as well take myself off the meat market because it is a waste of emotional energy and my life has enough disappointment. What the hell is wrong with people? Maybe nothing, maybe I should just conform to find people to love me. Maybe I have just been wrong my whole life about the value of the individual. At least as far as I am concerned. The individual me obviously has nothing to offer except to be hot and thin and possibly just put out already. Doesn't matter, because whether I do put out or not, they'll leave anyway, because I did, or didn't. That's been my experience. No more. Guys suck, or maybe I just suck.
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