i didn't drink last night, HUGE deal, was really proud of it all day. but am drinking tonight. kinda a faluire on that whole deal. mom wants me to check into somewhere, but no way in hell can i do that. i know its a huge problem, but really, to go as far as checking myself into rehab?? no thanks. i have school to worry about. i have a good job, two good jobs. what do i tell them. "sorry, guys, i'm an alcoholic. oh, and somewhat of a drug addict. i'm gonna go to rehab for a while, is it cool if i try to get my job back later?" umm.... i work in a hospital and in a nursing home. i don't think that that'll fly. at all. i don't know if i can do this on my own. well, apparantly i can't... people bring up A.A. and everything, but i work one full time job, plus a part time job and school. where do i find time for that?? i work 3-11 and pick up days here and there, go to school in the morning three days a week. ha, no time for rehab... and i'm not going to school or work drunk. well, school its happened from the night before, but not always. i just don't know anymore. its out of control, i know, but i don't know what to do here. i know nothing...
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