I honestly can’t see a future for myself anymore. Nothing makes me happy. I’ve tried so many different medications, different therapists, an outpatient program. I’ve tried keeping myself busy, I’ve tried taking time off and resting. It’s not even that I hate myself anymore, it’s just that I’m exhausted, and somehow that feels even worse. I’m tired of trying to feel better and faking it and then when I can’t fake it anymore, people say “you were doing so well, why did you stop trying?” Life just seems so silly and exhausting and I don’t feel like I was meant to be a part of it. I can’t function like everyone else. I try to open up and be honest with people, but no one seems to understand what I’m saying. They wonder why I can’t appreciate the gift of life and all my blessings and God has a plan for me, etc. But no one will sit with me through the pain. It’s uncomfortable for them, so they push it away. I can’t push it away. It’s stuck with me. And sometimes I feel I’d do anything to make it go away. If I say this though, I just end up hurting them. But if I keep it to myself they say “stop isolating!” Everyone around me seems to think my sadness can be cured by walking my dog or meditating or journaling. Sure, those things can help for a while or distract me, but it never goes away completely. In the end I still feel like a terrible person who wants to die.
King Jesus has broken our chains !Try not to listen to the lies of the devil(World) because JESUS died for us so that we could live in eternal Glory .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgsbaBIaoVc