Today has been a really hard day for me. Ever since I had a talk with my mum about the extent of my abuse everythings just come back. I've been trying desperately to keep my head above the water but I can feel myself slipping back. Things were going so well, but you know it's so hard to keep happy. And it's not as if i've been thinking about the abuse lately, its just the old feelings that comes with it. I've been having suicidal thoughts again and self harm thoughts again. I dont think i'll do anything because i'm trying to keep myself afloat. I havent seen my CBT lately either so i think thats why i'm feeling so low. I absolutely refuse to go back on my meds again though as I prefer to do it when I'm not zonked out. I'm not sure why i'm on here or what I'm asking for really..
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...