i wanna feel bad but yet i don't. i just left work. at work i feel horrible and i don't know why. i'm starting to think i have environmental depression is thats a true term. it seems like it would make me feel bad away from work and i guess i still kinda feel like that urge to feel bad but i don't. i can't really explain it. its a very drastic change but i don't know why or when the change takes place. my job is not very demanding at all. i see myself having a seemingly secure position. the people are people. i just don't understand why now all of a sudden i just hate going to work so much that it depresses me while i'm there. at work the smallest thing can happen and i will feel horrible but if the same thing happens away from there its not so bad. it wasn't always like this there was a time when i was happy at work and home (w/ same social life at home), a time when i was depressed at work and at home (when i was working 50hours a week and making less than what i make now working 40), and a time when i was depressed at home but not at work (work was my only real social outlet). but now it seems the role has changed...only this time there has not been something to cause it. for instance i still make same amount of money, work same hours, and still meet relatively the same amount of people. i know this makes no sense at all but could this show that i have habituated to the environment of work and that somehow depresses me.
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