okay... crabby enough as it is... "wonderwall" just popped up on my ipod's shuffle... yeah... cryin a little bit right now. not a good enough cry to feel better, just a little one... like, shit, god i miss adam so much. can't even talk to him anymore. he's so far gone with heroin he's beyond even trying to communicate with... "there are many things i'd like to say to you but i don't know how".... he called me a couple months ago, all out playing his guitar to this shit, singing it. i'll admit, the boy had talent, if nothing else. god... i should just change this shit. this was one of our songs... he insisted i'd saved him "if it wasn't for you, i'd be dead. i'd have O.D.'ed by now... i forgot how good it feels to be off that shit, to actually live. i love you." all the thanks from his mom, thanks for keeping him straight, thanks for sticking it out, thanks for encouraging him to keep a job, thanks for being a reason for him to get up in the morning.... now he's gone. physically, he's here, but thats all. nothing left of the person i knew. i know he meant well, but he's just so sick. it kills me. i lost my best friend in the world. i miss him so much it hurts.