no one really needs to know except you and your husband, you are an adult and are not answerable to them

it is not bad to have a private life

My mother in law does not know I have depression, that side of the family wouldn't understand, and really I don't owe them that information

well, if going to couseling is going to help your marriage, then you should go. if you're uncomfortable about telling others why, come up with something simple and be nonchalant about it. it's the mystery that draws ppl in.

Embarrassment is likely the biggest obstacle to most people getting help with some fairly common problems.

Caring too much about what people think about us, what they might say, what they might do, can keep a person in misery for years to come.

Frankly, it is no one's business. Why your husband's family would know is something I don't understand. And even if they asked questions, there a variety of ways to deal with those situations.

Not getting help only prolongs your suffering, I hope you find a way to get through the embarrassment.

What you feel inside is yours and if it makes you feel better to talk about it then do it. If not, then don't. You are worring about everyone except the person who has to deal with this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year (thats you by the way!). Don't be scared to take care of you. It sounds like you have some great support in your husband. If he gets overwhelmed and you need to talk, come here. I joined yesterday and have had so much encouragement. This place is truely awesome.

You are courageous! You've taken the first few steps, admitting you need help and seeking it out, both here and in therapy. I admire you. I suggest you go ahead and make the appointment and then tell your husband you feel you need extra support and are seeking it out. Do you feel it's safe to tell him? As long as you make it about yourself and not the relationship, your own issues, then maybe he'll understand that you need qualified help. He may feel threatened that his business is being aired out, he may feel that he failed you. You had baggage when he met you. Ask him how he feels about you getting the help you need. I pray that he is loving and understanding about this and I hope other here have some good ideas for going about this safely and sanely. Hugs Alexandria

I'm VERY close to my in-laws, my father is not in my life anymore nor his entire side of the family....as far as my family goes there's my mom and her dad and stepmom, my husbands family is really my family. This is not going ewhere I meant it to although thank you to all who have said something, I just wasn't really clear, I dont' mean I need to answer to them or that it has to become their business (and counseling was for depression not marraige,) I just ....hell I don't know I guess as much as anythign I am just curious if other people feel this way, if it's normal to be afraid of hoe others view you. There are times that I .....well lwts say it this way, sometimes a girl just wants her daddy, mine is no longer around and I am close to my FIL and sometimes I just want to tell him everything, how I feel how depressed I am, but I am afraid he will think/treat me differnt, does any of this make any sense? I just..I want to talk to my ubby, but I am afraid to even do that because I am so morified by feeling so bad and cutting and so on.
Thanks for listening

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across harsh or anything, not at all

I see, yes I have felt that way, I share so much with my mother in law that it sometimes is hard to keep that part of me secret, she loves me, but comes from another time....and I love her

so, yes I have felt the same, and that is the direction I chose to take with her

your family may understand, maybe you are having a harder time accepting it than they would, as if you have failed or something, which you haven't

Have you consider, what you are implying about them through your fear and embarrassment.

I remember years ago when a friend told me of a minor criminal charge from years back. Like you, she was concerned that I would treat her differently. I told her that she must not think very highly of me since her fear go in the wa.

If you want to tell, tell but be prepared for the reactions -positive or negative. I know people that battled cancer & never told anyone until they were in remisson. Their reason - they didn't want others to worry, they didn't want the relationship to change, etc.

Perhaps going to therapy will make this whole process of discussion with your husbands family easier. I am sure the therapist will have many great suggestions on exactly how to go about it. I went through something similar when I had to tell mom I was an alcoholic many years ago, which I did in the presence of a counselor. we all dealt with it together.
Alexandria

medical history is still private and your choice to disclose. I don't see why anyone other than your husband should have to know.

You're not obligated to discuss it with anybody unless you wish to. It's a personal choice.

Your business is your business. You do not owe explainations to anyone. If you feel counseling can/might help your marriage, follow your instincts and go for it. Best wishes and Kind Regards.

I used to keep it all hidden from family and friends but sometimes that caused problems when I wasn't well enough to go places. Hurt feelings and people thinking I was mad at them, etc.

Now the all kind of know but they only know what I chose to tell them. It like any other medical condition... people might know you have something, but they don't need to know all the details.

Your depression is your business and no has to know if you don't want them to. But if you decide to tell people, trust me, they will be nothing but sympathetic. Since I have been depressed my friends and family have rallied round me and I have encountered many people who feel as bad as I do.

People I previously thought were happy, who seemed to have it all figured out, have told me they suffer from depression or did in the past.

The bravest thing you've done, is to get help and to acknowledge that you need help. Don't worry about being depressed. Lots of people who have good lives are depressed. Don't feel guilty. It is an illness that effects the strong, capable and loving people of society.