If you read my profile you will see that I have had five different diagnosis from 5 different psychologist who all than told me they couldnt help me anymore. Unfortunately, I believe doctors who get paid fulll fee and not insurance will work harder. I have timed some psychiagrtists I have seen, and most sessions lasted about 7 minutes. Now, that I am paying for a pychiatrist 200.00 he sees me for an hour. The mental health systtem in the U.S. has failed, everyday people are dying and it doesnt seem to phase anyone. I am in so much pain like most of you every day I just want to be released from this bod and mind, noone truly understands not even family who haave told me im a burden and they cant take it anymore, well I agree, I cant either, it's been over 20 years but I only started talking to a psychologist at 21, at 27, tried suicide and thats when friends and family founfd out. I don't remember what joy is, can anyone describe it to me again. I live with an enormous amount of guilt and its trigerred by different things, at the moment a wonderful guy is in love with me, why I dont know, but I dont feel the same and it hurts m so bad to hurt him, so I see him every weekend. Tried so many different medications, abused vicodin and xanax, have been to the hospital with a overdose about 4 times, but heres the thing I don't really want to die, I just ant the pin to go away. Does it ever go away, I dnt see a point in human suffering for lifetime. Any advice for someone who wants to live again?
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