If you really are at risk of killing yourself... maybe you should check yourself in to a clinic. Maybe I should follow my own advice.

What's happened today hun?

Do you have a suicide plan? If you do, you should go to the ER. If not, you should at least get in to see your doc.

I'm glad you reached out here, kensr. What can we do to help you through this?

Glad you reached out for help. If you are close to suicide please call someone anyone that can help you. If you can't do that than go to the ER they will help you.

If you feel that death is the only thing that will stop the pain that you are feeling then you might want to do a voluntarry commital. It will help. What outlets do you have for your really really bad days?

Kensr, eading your post, I couldn't help but consider:

If you're in such a rough patch right now that if a doc knew everything he'd put you on suicide watch....then may be that actually IS what you might need right now.

If it's more than you can handle or bear right now, it's okay to let go and get help, friend. I'm talking as someone who's been there (literally, there in the hospital) -- maybe you could benefit from just getting off the merry-go-round of anquish and emotional exhaustion for a spell, so you could gather strength and get help. [In my own case, it's only when my life fell down around my ankles that I was able to reconstruct a different, better and easier life]

The decision is, of course, entirely yours, but please know that we are here and pulling for you. If you want to, you can call a warm line (the numbers are listed in the "recommendations" section at the top of this page) -- which is just a place to call with a supportive person at the other end of the line (but for people who aren't ready to call or don't need the level of an actual crisis "hotline"). maybe just talking everything out could help you decide a next step.

And of course, keep posting here. You're not alone!

Oh, the idea of a voluntary commital is an excellent one -- thanks for pointing that out, Lowens.

Welcome. Depression is an illness not a weakness. Remember that.

i really appriciate everyone here,,,i know in my heart that suicide is not the way out,,,,but i really hate going to sleep at night knowing that i will have to get up the next day with the same thing,,,I JUST WISH I COULD HAVE JUST 1 DANG GOOD/NORMAL DAY,,,thanks finally about the warm line,,i didn't know about them,,,guess i am so damn confused i don't know which way to turn,,,and as far as going to the ER,,i thought about that too,,,i need to do something,,,because i am on the verge of snapping,,,,

I would go and take myself to the hospital. Think of it as a 72 or 36 hour vacation to learn how to make yourself better.

i wish i had the answer jana,,,but i know that just letting me vent a little to all the friends on here is a step in the right direction,,,,but i know if i call docs office monday,,i know i can get in to see him that day,,,

Okay, Kensr, but keep checking in here and venting over the weekend and let us know if you find yourself falling again, pls. We want you to support you and help you find ways to feel better.

If you are having such a hard time there is nothing wrong with going into the hospital. I have from time to time. Seek help.