I find that when I'm depressed, I don't want to do things for myself. I end up doing them because people say it'd be good for me, people say I should. So, I do things for the people I love when I should be doing these things just to better myself. I'm starting to wonder since I'm doing things (going to school, getting counseling, etc.) for other people...what happens if those people are gone one day? I'll be right back where I started. Actually, I'll feel worse, even if I get better, because those people won't be around and I'll feel like it was all in vain! Does this make sense to anyone else? Depression just makes me not care about myself, so I try to get better for those I love...not for me. It scares me what will happen if those people are ever gone.
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This is a general message I am posting to all of the groups I belong to:I just thought back to when I first found DS soon after it first began and what a different life I had then. It is much better now, mainly because I have my own apartment as opposed to living in an old travel trailer in somebody's driveway. But even that could have been much worse than it was. I have been here now since...