i've been depressed as long as i can remember but it's gotten a lot worse in the past year and a half. during that time there was a lot more stress than i was used to...started cutting and burning again for a while and then lost it and tried to kill myself in dec 2005. i've been down further than usual since then, never really got back to normal and ended up in a mental hospital at the end of this past year. i left the hospital feeling emotionally stronger than ever in my life only to come crashing down the next day. at first the depression was the same as before...like an angry despair and self-hatred and i knew the thoughts that were making me feel that way. but after a while it became an intense sadness that stayed with me from the time i woke up until i gave up and tried to sleep at night...i couldnt figure out why i felt like that and couldnt shake it no matter how i tried. then suddenly this evening, i feel completely better. i dont think it's the medicine and coffee finally kicking and i definately believe that God heals but it's kind of unsettling to feel such sudden changes...has anyone experienced something like this?
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...