this is first holiday season in my life I'll be alone... not likeing it one f*ck*ng bit....

Usually brings me down. Mainly, Ithink, because the holidays as a grown up just don't have the same sense of wonder and excitement that I remember feeling as a kid. Guess it's just growing up. (Much as I try not too)

they bring me up in some ways but then bring me down in ways

Thanks for your replies guys.

I love the holidays. I look forward for them.

i'm having a real hard time coping with the holidays this year, and i've posted about it elsewhere. it just seems like a lot of the bad things that have happened in my life have occurred around the holidays.
i can't even appreciate it for my child's sake but i'm trying to grin and bear it. i know she deserves a better childhood than I had.
i just try to remember the line from the Chevy Chase movie,
'it's Christmas and we're all in misery'

I like that holidays, but I get sad...too, because thay are not what they use to be when I was a kid or even with the grandparents around...seems like I'm always trying to play back history.....

i have to say that Christmas makes me want to make it better for my kids, so i feel u, pixie, when u say that when the morning gets here, u are happy with the kids; i always have wanted to make Christmas a better holiday for my kids, so i feel it brings my spirits up!

I spent a nice Thanksgiving with an old friend from school and his family. I do better when I around others. I don't have enough of that in my life. Very alienating.
Being with members of my own family (the few that are left) is often troubling. We don't agree on things and I think my brother is judgmental.

holidays make me feel lonely lol...cause i'm always stuck with family and I do NOT belong there..

I find that Christmas just isn't the same without little ones around.

So sorry Capitan :-( {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

The holidays bring joy in one way, but much aching in the heart. There is much that I dream of but know in my heart will never be.

I love all the gift giving and seeing my kids faces light up.I love the prep stuff too.

All my family are in Europe and I feel very weepy around the holidays as I wish we could all celebrate together.

i kind of feel guilty posting here. Christmas is my all time favorite time of the year. it lifts my spirits so much. i have always been that way, my entire life. we spent the day today starting to decorate and put the tree up. it will be a 3 day long event. my mother always made it special for us and i have tried to make it special for my son. he is 14 and was so excited to start the season. i re-live my childhood through my son. i love the warm fuzzies of the Christmas spirit. i love giving. i love the children's wide eyes and smiles. i love the true meaning of Christmas and i dive straight in and try to soak it all in.

i realized when i read caps response, this will be my first Christmas without a s/o. and on Christmas eve i will be completely alone. i am now wondering how i will handle that.