i am questioning if my doctors and counselors are treating my condition right. it seems that my emotions are taking over and i am losing control. thoughts of suicide have entered my mind. i try to talk with people but all i do is push them away. or scare them away. i am not to sure. looking at my last encounter with my wife i am concerned that i am losing control. i am getting angry fast, then o will all of the sudden start crying for no particular reason or i am unable to control the down swings. i yell more, cry more, and it all seems to be negative. they diagnosed me as major depression and anxiety disorder. i am on wellbutrin and effexor. i have impulsive behaviors, i lie compulsively. i hide stuff. i can't function, staying asleep is hard. but then i spend most of my time in bed. i have feeling of worthlessness, and of rejection. i am afraid of letting those closest to me even closer because i fear they wont like what the find in me. i try to calm myself but i cant seem to keep the upper hand. i was like this as a child but i thought i worked through it. i yell and scream to get my point across. wtf is wrong with me.
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