i am questioning if my doctors and counselors are treating my condition right. it seems that my emotions are taking over and i am losing control. thoughts of suicide have entered my mind. i try to talk with people but all i do is push them away. or scare them away. i am not to sure. looking at my last encounter with my wife i am concerned that i am losing control. i am getting angry fast, then o will all of the sudden start crying for no particular reason or i am unable to control the down swings. i yell more, cry more, and it all seems to be negative. they diagnosed me as major depression and anxiety disorder. i am on wellbutrin and effexor. i have impulsive behaviors, i lie compulsively. i hide stuff. i can't function, staying asleep is hard. but then i spend most of my time in bed. i have feeling of worthlessness, and of rejection. i am afraid of letting those closest to me even closer because i fear they wont like what the find in me. i try to calm myself but i cant seem to keep the upper hand. i was like this as a child but i thought i worked through it. i yell and scream to get my point across. wtf is wrong with me.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...