dont know what words to write, none of them seem to express how it is inside. im desperate, scared, alone and the inner voice always yelling at me, i have to end this pain. So strong this fear this pain that i feel physically unwell from it. So alone, so very alone, disconnected from the kids because this is the setting up for giving in. confused, so lost, extremely low, days of this falling into this black hole, I feel no one hears me in my life, but im silent lately how can they. I feel utterly worthless, i dont belong, so scared,so very afraid.
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