I'm new to the board so I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm a 39 yr. old divorced Mother of 3. I have suffered from depression all my life I believe. Looking back, when I was a child, things just werent right. I had a very hard time learning...which I think now I had a learning disability...which made me feel bad about myself which has stayed with me all my life. My Mother drank, I used to find her booze hid in the house and pour it out. I used to beg her not to drink, of coarse that didnt work. I can honestly say, that is what probably effected my life the most and probably inside me some place I feel like I'm not good enough, because my Mother wouldnt stop drinking for me. Depression runs in my family, my Mom had it and so did her mother...she shot herself to death, I never met her. As I posted earlier, I sleep all the time, always have. I have slept my life away. It is nothing for me to stay in bed and sleep for 12-13 hours. I have not be able to hold a job my entire life, because I cant get out of bed and I find it terribly hard to leave my house. I am on state aid and social security disablitly because of all this. I have no money and on the verge of losing my home. These sources of income are not enough to live on. I have tried all kinds of meds, from prozac to clelexa which I am on now. I started it close to a month ago now, I cant really tell any difference. I take xanax for panic attacks. I also suffer from 2 different back disorders which cause me very much pain so I take vicodin for the pain. This is my story. I am hoping that by joining this site, I can find some peace and meet new people who understand me.
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