hello welcome!

..hi ya..>:)

Thanks for the welcome hope I didn't sound like I was feeling sorry for myself

Sometimes others that you view as happy are hurting as well. If you see me at christmas time one would probably never guess that inside I was crying and that my heart breaks for the christmas' of past. I too, mourn those I love who are no longer here. I honor their memory by carrying on some of the traditions they so loved. My grandmother was all about christmas eve. Huge dinner and gift exchange,ect. I now hold Christmas eve at my home and my kids run gleefully through the home like I did. My grandfather loved to use his whiskey sour glasses and shaker. So I have his set and they are made. My sister loved the white lights on the tree and I shine them brightly. Honey, they are gone from this earth but they are always in our hearts.

I look at Christmas time as a time to look back with fondness at memories of Christmas past shared with loved ones. We never had a lot of money or presents, but the holiday gave us time to spend with each other.

The holidays can be very hard for many people and I'd bet that many you see who seem to be having a wonderful time are also crying inside at least part of the time. Most holidays never live up to our expectations, THANK YOU HOLYWOOD for giving us such smaltzy movies to gage our reality next to.
Let's also not forget that the days are shorter, darker and colder now which can also make those who are sensitive to such things more easily depressed and everyone seems to get more stressed as they combine work with all their holiday activities and wear themselves out.

I want to tell you that you can still find great joy even if there is heart break.
Unless your very young the chances are almost everyone has lost someone they love and you feel their passing most during these special occasions (my grandfather died on Christmas day when I was 16) but you can work their memory into how you celebrate as pixidst has done.
Many of us have loved ones who are ill and might be sharing their last Christmas with us, my husband has alzheimers and even though he might be alive next Christmas it will be very unlikely he will be able to understand what is going on so you take this time you have and make it the best and brightest you can.
We can let our lives be a trail of tears, and god knows many of us have a trail of reasons to cry. Don't let the tears become your life, let them become the seasoning that reminds you how precious the good times are so you store up wonderful memories for when it is raining tears.

holidays are the hardest time of year, when there is so much happiness all around.
Hugs!

i know how you feel.

sometimes when the mood around me is all cheery, like it tends to be at xmas time, i just feel really down.

it reminds me of how my family isnt close and i miss my gma.

You all sound so positive about it all. I think perhaps part of my problem is for one reason or another Christmas seemed to turn disfunctional as a kid I got tons of stuff but I'm afraid my Mother was not very well at Christmas emotionaly and I guess that has carried through with me.I used to want to make things so wonderful for my children but always fell short.They are grown now but they too have not many happy memories . I think I simply feel and felt like a failure because I did not have much of a social life so there was never lots of razzel and dazzel or people around and I think that embarassed them. So I feel lots of guilt this time of year

welcome...*hugs*

hugs and kisses,

Welcome to DS. You're not alone; the holidays are rough for me too....brings on the blues big time. Wish the best for you, DS is a great place full of caring people.

You're not alone about the "holidays." It's the worst time for depressed & lonely people. We have to pretend to enjoy it & pretend to be happy for others. I personally don't want to bring anyone else down, so I fake it & then it's over & back to normal.

Sundance..I have zero of a social life. Your children love you and I am sure that if you ask...they had good christmas' with you. It is never too late to make your children something. Even if they are grown.

I just read some of the posts and it seems some out there have a very positive spin on things I will certainly try to have a different mind set Thanks for the reply from each of you.