I am so tired of feeling depressed and anxious. I have been on a gradual decline for about the last month and do not feel a whole lot better. I am just so frustrated, and don't want to die. I want to live and I want to feel happy. My husband has been gone two out of three months due to the needs of the ARMY and my job sucks. It's dreary outside and the Holidays are here. I have so much to be thankful for and pray to God all the time to give me strenght to survivie another day. I just feel soo tired and want to cry every two seconds. I am kinda one of those people who want to be a guinnie pig to different types of treatment, becuase if it can make me and others better for longer then lets try it. I have suffered from these conditions since I was 15 and am now 35. Physicall I just have no energy and no desire to do anything but get in bed and sleep (which I have forced myself not to do) or to sit on the couch all day and try to turn my thoughts off (which I have been doing). I don't want to see anyone, I just want to hide from the world. I really want my husband so I can just have a hug and have him tell me better days are comming. I miss him so much. Uuuggghh. On top of that he is leaving to Iraq next summer and even though that is a few months off I am already scared to death and this adds only, you guessed it, more anxiety. I really don't have much of an appetite but force myself to eat something regardless of how small. Life just sucks right now. Please pray for me that I feel stronger soon. Thank you so much!
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